Cheating spouse how to deal

Affairs can happen in any relationship

Your marriage has changed and it is natural to grieve the relationship you once had. Being betrayed by your partner can induce rage. In your furious state, your first instinct may be to punish your mate by trash-talking him to friends or worse, on social media , or think about having an affair yourself to get even. You may get a temporary sense of satisfaction from these sorts of actions, but ultimately they can work against you, keeping you in a state of anger instead of focusing on healing and moving on, alone or together.

Think before you tell your family, as well.

Coping with Infidelity and a Cheating Spouse

They will likely have strong opinions about what you should do—leave or stay. But nobody else really understands what goes on in another person's marriage. While you are pondering how you're going to proceed, it's best to keep the details private. You may have some physical reactions due to stress such as nausea, diarrhea, sleep problems too little or too much , shakiness, difficulty concentrating, not wanting to eat, or overeating.

– This is how you stop your partner from cheating - Esther Perel - SVT/NRK/Skavlan

Once the initial shock has passed, try your best to eat healthy foods, to stay on a schedule, to sleep regular hours, to get some exercise each day, to drink plenty of water, and, yes, to have some fun. Blaming yourself, your partner, or the third party won't change anything and it's just wasted energy.

How to Handle a Cheating Partner - wikiHow

Try not to play the victim, either, if you can help it, or wallow in self-pity. It will only make you feel more helpless and bad about yourself. This situation is between you and your partner and should not involve your children at all.

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Unless you and your spouse have decided to end your marriage, sharing details about an affair will only cause them anxiety, make them feel stuck in the middle, and forced to take sides. Don't try to get through coping with unfaithfulness alone. Before you make any decisions about whether or not to end your marriage, it's wise to talk to a couple's counselor , who will be neutral and can help you gain insight into what exactly happened.

You can ask your partner questions and share your feelings without losing your cool. An experienced therapist can help you communicate better and process feelings of guilt, shame, and whatever else you might be feeling. If you decide to end the marriage, you 'll know that you tried your best to make it work. If you suspect that the affair will most likely lead to the end of your marriage, give some thought to practical matters, such as where you will live, if you have enough money to pay for your essentials, and, if you have kids, the type of custody arrangement you want.

You may also want to consider asking your partner to be tested for STDs, and to get yourself tested as well if you have had sex during or after the affair.

Infidelity is one of the more difficult challenges a marriage can face, but it doesn't always mean it's the end. When you've been cheated on, the first thing to decide is whether to go through the grueling and often painful process of putting your relationship back on track, experts say. Most couples who have younger children choose to try to work it out. Love, Fisher said, is very much like an addiction as far as your brain is concerned. And, just as the addict can experience painful withdrawal symptoms, so too can a person who is losing love.

Infidelity: Mending your marriage after an affair

If you chose to break up, there are some strategies that can help minimize the misery. Recognize that one of the brain regions activated by addiction — and love — is linked with pain and anxiety.

In other words, pain killers really may soothe some of your pain. If you choose to try to save your marriage, it'll take work for both of you.

8 Tips for Coping When Your Partner Is Unfaithful

After his affair, relationship coach Greg Durocher took a polygraph test before his wife would try to put their marriage back together. Durocher also takes a repeat polygraph any time his wife requests one.

Happiness is something you have to find on your own, he added.